So I started writing a novel this morning. The current working titles are “A different choice” & “An Alternative Love Story.” I’m pretty excited about it! I LOVE WRITING!
And in a way I can’t really explain yet, starting my day off like this really has altered something.
Stuff I published today:
http://victoriascotiacrowley.com/2014/05/09/emotional-therapy-part-2/
So I ran a google image search on the hashtags #30daysofwriting, #writeeverydamnday, and #writeyourselfalive to see what was out there this is what I found under #writeeverydamnday. I only have one word for this: TRUTH. I have finished so many unfinished writings since I started this challenge, and it’s only been 4 days!
Here’s a list of the published goodies from Writings Days 2, 3, and 4 you can check out if you wish:
confessions of a depressed mind: silver linings playbook therapy
The Bible in One Year, Day 72 (I’m reading through the Bible in one year with some friends. It’s too overwhelming to blog about every day, but if something good hits I write about it.)
emotional therapy, part 1 (This is the first part of a 3-part series. A lot of words, so I’m publishing it in 3 parts.)
In the meantime, keep writing! That’s what I’m doing!
5月7日星期三:
Numbers 22-23, Hebrews 7
First of all, before I even begin, THE BOOK OF HEBREWS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THE OLD TESTAMENT. So don’t even bother with that book if you haven’t bothered with the Old Testament. No matter how many interesting things you hear, you MUST read the OLD TESTAMENT first, or you’ll be lost. Trust me. Talk about a book full of Hebrew references… The Hebrews, after all, were the Israelites, God’s chosen people of the Old Testament.
Ok, now that that’s out of the way…
THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME OFTEN!!!! (You can read what I wrote the last time it did, which was a while ago!) My mind has has been theologically blown. I basically started whooping and hollering as the revelation dawned as I read the words of Hebrews chapter 7.
Law vs. Gospel, Old Covenant vs. New Covenant, Moses & Jesus: please write a three-page essay comparing and contrasting one of these pairs. Ok, you’ve lost me already. Because as I compare and contrast any of these things here (I’m speaking to seasoned – that is, bibled and churched – Christians now), I find myself stringing my own thematic order of events here that always ends up making the former party look bad: the law, the old covenant, Moses. These things always come out on the losing end of the competition; it hasn’t always made sense to me, but in the end the person thumping the Bible was just pointing to Jesus, so it’s ok, right?
This is where I must take a stand as an amateur theologian and serious academic. And I’m going absolutely nuts about this discovery I just made, because there’s no need to set up the gospel against the law or the two covenants as opposing each other any more. And that’s because of…MELCHIZEDEK!
Good ‘ole Melchizedek. He gets all of 3 verses in the Old Testament (Gen 14:18-20) but then some mention later on in the Psalms (Ps 110) and a whole treatment in Hebrews.
The tribe of Levi, as we clearly see in the Old Testament, were entrusted by God to take care of the The Tent of Meeting, the sanctuary that God sanctioned to be built by the Israelites. This is where God met his people. Only the priest, who was of the trip of Levi, could enter and make atonement for sins. It was through this priesthood God revealed the Law to Moses and the Israelites (Heb 7:11).
Now, keep in mind that we are constantly being taught in the church that Moses administered the law, Jesus fulfilled the law. We are also taught that Jesus became our priest, made atonement for our sins upon the cross, and ripped down the curtain once keeping us from entering the holy of holies that only a descendant of the tribe of Levi could enter because of the priesthood.
Let’s return to Melchizedek. According to Hebrews 7:17, the words in Ps 110 are prophetically referring to Jesus: “You are a priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.” (Heb 7:17 isn’t the only reference to this verse in Hebrew.) Jesus’ priesthood, then, is historically from the line of Melchizedek, not Aaron and the rest of the tribe of Levi. This makes sense, since Jesus himself descended from the tribe of Judah, not Levi.
For it is clear that our Lord descended from Judah, and in regard to that tribe Moses said nothing about priests. 15 And what we have said is even more clear if another priest like Melchizedek appears, 16 one who has become a priest not on the basis of a regulation as to his ancestry but on the basis of the power of an indestructible life. 17 For it is declared:
“You are a priest forever,
in the order of Melchizedek.”
18 The former regulation [the Law God revealed through Moses] is set aside because it was weak and useless 19 (for the law made nothing perfect), and a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God.
So what we have here is not a rebellious statement against the way of the Old Testament but the acknowledgement and recognition that even as the Israelites were grumbling against their leaders in the wilderness, God was already making something new through his son Jesus! Abraham’s encounter with Melchizedek was only a foretaste of what was to come, when Jesus would encounter the world, the people God loves.
Then Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine. He was priest of God Most High, 19 and he blessed Abram, saying,
“Blessed be Abram by God Most High,
Creator of heaven and earth.
20 And praise be to God Most High,
who delivered your enemies into your hand.”
Then Abram gave him a tenth of everything.
Melchizedek blessed Abraham, and Abraham gave him a tenth of everything, a tithe. Jesus blesses us, Jesus made atonement for us, Jesus’ priesthood on our behalf is permanent because he lives forever:
Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.
26 Such a high priest truly meets our need—one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. 27 Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself.
Our high priest Jesus gave us so much more than Melchizedek gave Abraham. Abraham gave Melchizedek a tenth. What do we give our High Priest?
You think you have time later is what Buddha means here. I do have time, right NOW!
So I actually already get out of bed pretty early 5 days out of the week to go to dragon boat training, and the thing with this writing challenge is that writing needs to be the first thing you do in the morning, with the exception of pooping, eating, exercise, etc,. So even though my exercise involves a commute and interaction with lots of people, it’s still what I do before I get to writing on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. But what I do is use the note function on my phone and just write, write, write while I’m sitting on the bus or the MRT or waiting for the bus or MRT (what they call the subway here.) I’ve produced a lot just by doing this for two days already! It’s kind of nice, too, to mix up the writing medium. There’s pen and paper, computer, iPhone, type-writer.
I’m excited. Nothing can stop me from writing; where there’s a will, there’s a way! Let’s write!
Wondering what the heck I’m talking about? Check out http://www.andreabalt.com/30-days-of-writing-write-yourself-alive/ and start writing!
So, thanks to facebook networking people with similar interests, I stumbled upon this: http://www.andreabalt.com/30-days-of-writing-write-yourself-alive/, a 30-day writing challenge that does give a crap about anything else going on in your life. It’s perfect, it’s what I needed for a mental challenge, and I started today.
This morning after about an hour and a half of writing, I finished my OWN Psalm 136, which you can read by clicking here.
I also finished a couple writings I had started about my experiences with depression. I have a quite a few of these in the works, and I’m excited about finally getting them out in writing and sharing them on my blog. I’m not publishing any of them today, so you’ll have to look forward to reading those starting tomorrow! Here we go! Those game rules are for anyone who wants to play. 🙂
2月27日星期四:
Genesis 5-6, 1 Timothy 3
Live long and prosper – or in this case, live long and have sons and daughters! Genesis 5 begins the first of many genealogies (or family trees, in modern speak) that are found throughout the Bible. It all starts, of course, with Adam. People were living way past 100 years; the oldest recorded age in the Bible is 969. A man named Methuselah, son of Enoch, son of Jared, sone of Mahalel, son of Kenan, son of Enosh, son of Seth, son of Adam, is recorded as the oldest man to ever live (Gen 5:27).
Something I found interesting is in verse 2 of chapter 5: “He created them male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them ‘man'” (Gen 5:2). So we are all man, male and female. Our species is called “man.”
Here’s a piece of Bible trivia you may or may not already know: Enoch, son of Jared, son of Mahalel, son of Kenan, sone of Enosh, sone of Seth, son of Adam, never died. “Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years. Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God too him away” (Gen 5:23-24).
Genesis 6 just makes me thing of the Noah movie that I plan on seeing.
Family Men: the 3rd chapter of 1 Timothy practically offers of a guide book for church leadership. After reading through it, I wondered how many of these guidelines are adhered to. Paul offers a list of characteristics and requirements that can be found in verses 2-13. One thing that stuck out to me was the parenthetical verse 5: “(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church)”. That verse brought me back to the many ministry families I’ve known that have stepped down or moved on to other things to put their family first. I always respected that. It makes me wonder how so many families of church leaders fall a part when they are supposed to be putting their families first. First you must be a family man; then you can be a church man.
2月26日星期三:
Genesis 3-4, 1 Timothy 2
Death is not always physical. Sometimes only God sees it.
…God did say, “You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.”
“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the women. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
-Gen 3:2-3
What is it that died that day in the garden?
Limitation or protection?
And the Lord God said, “the man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth guard the way to the tree of life.
Gen 3:22-24
Our actions even affect the earth.
The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand.”
Gen 4:10-11
I had a teacher back in high school who pointed to this passage as the beginning of the tool industry: “Tubal-Cain, who forged all kinds of tools out of bronze and iron” (Gen 4:22)
I always found these words very interesting, and I’m still not sure what they mean: “At that time men began to call on the name of the LORD” (Gen 4:26b).
1 Timothy 2 is the passage that stirs up all the controversy about women’s position in the church.
So a group of us are using this app called “Reading Plan” to read through the Bible in one year together. It’s a pretty nifty app that offers some really cool reading programs and a really simple way to track your progress, along with allowing you to customize your start date. I’m a fan and would definitely recommend checking it out. The plan my friends I are following is called “Thematic 2014.”
2月25日星期二:
Psalms 19, Genesis 1-2, 1 Timothy 1
The first thing that struck me was the thematic line between the readings. I would never think to read the Bible this way, but reading these particular scriptures along side each other was really powerful.
First, in Psalm 19, you read about the glory of God found in all of creation, followed by these poetic attributes to God’s law, how it’s perfect and leads us in the way of life. This Psalm also includes one of my personal favorite verses, in verse 14:
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
And then, in the first two chapters of Genesis, you read the creation account and witness the beginning, the moment in time (the FIRST moment in time) when God fused the workings of his Law into the universe, and He saw it was good.
And then the law is applied to real life in the first letter Paul writes to Timothy. God’s law is not just for the sun and the moon and the stars, but for us as well. It is “good if one uses it properly” (1 Tim 1:8)
“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.”
-Psalm 19:1-4
IT HAPPENED: On Sunday, January 12, 2014, I, Victoria Scotia Crowley, ran a marathon. Let it be known: I RAN the whole marathon. I didn’t walk an inch of that beast.
So here’s what happened.
I.
The Seafood Marathon (海鮮馬拉松) was the first of its kind this year and was held in Nan Fang Ao (南方澳), a hardcore fishing town in Yilan (宜蘭), a lovely spot full of fishing boats, seafood, a beach and extremely friendly locals. I had been to this place twice before and was now here for my first marathon. We (me, Amy & Sweetie) took a bus from Taipei to Nan Fang Ao Saturday afternoon, a two-hour affair. Upon arriving, we spent the late afternoon settling into the hostel, checking out the start and end point of the race which was right next to Neipi Beach (內埤沙灘), and getting dinner. We got noodles at the a place right next to our hostel, and the boss told us he would treat us to a drink if we finished the marathon. (Sweetie had also signed up for it.)
Amy, Sweetie, me
The perfect spot for pre-race day meditation, right there on Neipi Beach.
I had literally never felt more prepared for anything in my life. I was at that point of readiness when you’re so ready there’s nothing else to do but your nails, a face mask and sleep. So that’s what I did. We were in bed by 8 o’clock.
II.
The Race Day’s events were scheduled as thus:
Translation: 05:00 Runners begin arriving at starting point and storing their bags. 06:30-06:50 Runners begin to gather for the opening ceremony and announcements. 07:00 Take off. 09:00-13:00 Runners begin to arrive back at the finish line. 11:00 Award ceremonies begin. 14:00 The last runners finally reach the finish line, as the 7 hour time limit it up. Closing ceremonies. 13:00-16:00 A buffet is served for the runners.
The morning started at 4am; the crickets on my phone began chirping and my body began to stir. I had already prepared my breakfast the night before, my yoga mat was already laid out, and my chip was already laced up on my right shoe; so I changed into my race clothes, stretched and had my breakfast. Once my pain pills were popped, the bib securely pinned to my shirt, shoes tied, and my race bag full of everything I would want right after the race, it was 5:15am. We headed out to the starting point. (The only thing I forgot were my flip-flops so I simply ended up barefoot after the race.)
The Seafood Marathon was a smaller race event, which was nice. Under 2,000 people had registered, and there was only one race: the marathon. So everyone there was signed up for the big one – no halfs or 5k fun runs. All 42.195 kilometers of the marathon. We got there before 6, so it wasn’t crowded at all; and there was plenty of space to watch the sunrise from the beach. It was the perfect most relaxing way to start Race Day.
Soon the crowds began to gather, and the noise grew with the morning light. I got in line early for the toilets while they were still clean and stocked with toilet paper. I definitely had my own TP stash just in case, though. I went to the bathroom two or three times before 7. I wasn’t worried about water, because I had been hydrating for a whole week. I looked around at all the faces and started getting really intimidated. They all looked so hardcore. What was I thinking? As it got closer to 7, I was totally nervous. Suddenly I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this.
And then they started the count down. At 7am, we were off. I could see the sun begin to establish herself as a glowing ball in the sky above the sea. Contrary to the weather forecast, we weren’t gonna see a bit of cloud or condensation during this race. There was nothing I could do now; the race had begun. I had started running a marathon.
III.
The route of this race was an experience in itself. First, let me just say this: Yilan is made up of rice fields, a river, and the beach. It’s cut off from Northern Taiwan (where Taipei is) by mountains so you get to it by driving through a 13-kilometer long tunnel. Yilan itself is fairly flat, simply hemmed in by mountains on one side and ocean on the other.
The first big land mark was the Nan Fang Ao bridge, which we crossed twice, because the route looped around the harbor two times.
Then we were sent north of Nan Fang Ao on the highway to Suao, another harbor town in Yilan. We went through a tunnel (I know I should have taken a picture of that, but I didn’t) and then ran through neighborhood and rice fields and then a nature path that took us right to the ocean. A whole kilometer was run right along the beach. That was inspiring.
That it wasn’t an entirely paved route was actually a rather surprising and unique feature of the Race.
After running along the ocean, it was more rice fields and neighborhoods and then what I like to call THE PURGATORIAL HALFWAY POINT OF HELL. It was the worst half-way point and by far the crappiest part of the Race. It was the only part of the race where I actually considered quitting.
We crossed the street to another elevated path along a dry riverbed. It was somewhere around the 19-20 kilometer mark. I noticed people running back on the opposite side of the path, so realized there was a turn around point somewhere at the end. The path was rather long and went all the way to the railroad. There was a water station serving food and beer and fruit in addition to the essentials in the middle of it. I was so happy to be finished running up and down it and receive my wrist band to assure completion that it was quite the mental blow to be told I needed to do it all over again. I went past that freaking water station 4 TIMES and past all those faces on the opposite side of the path 4 TIMES and stared at this dry river bed 4 TIMES – it was 6 kilometers of hell! That wasn’t running! That was torture. If that man didn’t let me cross the street and told me to go back and do it again, I would have quit. That trail was getting to me and not in a good way. I was so happy to be running through rice fields again.
After that awful halfway point of hell that wasn’t really a half way point, even though at some point during that torturous back-and-forth I hit the 21k mark and I also took my one and only potty break, the route back-tracked all the way back to Nan Fang Ao. That was a mental relief, because everything was familiar and I could actually gauge my progress as I got closer and closer the finish line.
There were 13 kilometers left when I stopped at another water station. This water station was serving rolls. I needed one. I also needed a mental boost. The whole race was beginning to take its toll. My phone was dying, and with 29% battery left I knew it wasn’t gonna make it to the finish line. With the phone would go my music and extra voice in my head and the cheering that I heard every time sometime hit the cheer button on my facebook status.* I was feeling my feet, I was feeling the heat, but I wasn’t feeling beat and I needed to tell myself that. So I grabbed an energy drink and a roll and found some shade to stand in while I mentally geared up for the final stretch. I was only 13k from finishing. After a couple minutes, I was off.
*I used the “Get cheers” function on my Nike+ app for the first time. It connected to my facebook and told everyone I had gone on a run. I posted a picture of my face and told everyone I WAS OFF! During the run, my music would fade out for a few seconds and be replaced by the sound of people cheering and making noise. It was the coolest and most encouraging thing.
In training, the farthest I had run was 32 kilometers (20 miles). I did this 3 different times and then started my three weeks of tapering. The final 10k of the marathon would be the unknown territory, the place I had never run before, the place for which I had spent 13 weeks preparing my body and my mind. For me, this marathon was two races: a 32k & and 10k. The 32k I had in the bag; I had done it before – 3 times before! The 10k was the race that counted, the one that brought me to the goal.
Something incredible happened as I entered the “un-run” 10k ( the final 6 miles of the race). Two little boys and (probably) their dad were welcoming every runner into this final stretch with a cell phone and a piece of red string. As I approached, the two boys got into position, holding up the red “barrier” for me to break through into the unknown, into the place where victory was mine. The dad took my picture as I ran through, with my arms in the air. “還有十公里!” the dad shouted. (“10 more kilometers!”) “十公里!” I called back, my arms still in the air. I couldn’t believe it. Those three have no idea how much that did for me, what a profound marker they were for me in the race. I also couldn’t believe how I felt. I WAS STILL RUNNING. I wasn’t running fast, but I was running strong.
The first time I had run through the tunnel, there had been so many people. This final time, it was me and the light at the end. I started picking people off one by one to pass, and pass them I did. At this point, people were intermittently walking and running. Clearing the tunnel and running the 3-kilometer stretch of highway was the loneliest part of the race. Cars whizzed by. The morning sun was burning my face. (All my training in the hot sun had seriously paid off.) I could see two other runners in front of me. The one closest started to walk. I passed him. The one farther up ahead was steady. I kept him in my sight, wondering if I would pass him but wasn’t going to try.
There was a man standing at the corner where the route turned left and went over the Nan Fang Ao bridge one final time. “三公里!” he told me after I asked how much longer. 3 more kilometers! That’s just under 2 miles! I didn’t show myself any mercy. I gave that bridge everything else I had. I let the slope back down propel my body right into the next water station where an adorable boy was ready to pour Super Supao into my cup that I didn’t have. “I need a cup!” I yelled out in Chinese. I didn’t stop running as I eagerly grabbed the cups of water that were offered to me. Some of the water made it into my mouth the rest I dumped all over my face and head. I made a dramatic grunt as I hastily handed back the cups and kept running.
That final kilometer I was a crazy woman. I was getting angry at the people I ran past who simply stared at me in silence, so I started yelling 加油! at them. I was yelling 加油 at everybody and I pumped my fists if they responded. I was yelling 加油 at myself. I was a 加油 machine! A guy was standing at the base of the final hill I needed to climb to the finish line, directing the runners up to victory. I yelled 加油 at him. Amy had strategically positioned herself at the top of the hill (the steepest part of the race, by the way!) and successfully captured the moment immediately following my ascent.
I screamed/yelled as I crossed the finish line.
IV.
Things got really crazy after I crossed the finish line.
There was a female and a male announcer who were both faithfully greeting runners as they crossed the finish line and received their medals. I was getting the same encouraging and congratulatory greetings until the male saw my face.
“你是哪一國的?” (What country are you from?)
“美國” (America)
“哇! 你要跟大家講!” (Oh! You should say something!)
“好” (Ok)
“大家好，有一個美國的朋友要跟大家感謝!” (Hello! A friend from America wants to say thank you!)
He hands me the microphone he’s been talking into this whole time. You know I’m ready for this. I’m freaking Victoria Crowley! I get to make a speech in Chinese at my very first marathon. WWWHHHHAAAAAT!??
“大家好! 這是我第一次去馬! 成功了! 我來這邊四年多了，我愛台灣！謝謝！” (Hi, everyone! This is my first marathon! It was a success! I’ve been here for over 4 years and I love Taiwan! Thank you!)
I handed back the mike. What else was I supposed to say?
After that, everything happened really quickly. A man ran over to make sure I remembered to turn in my chip. I responded my unlacing and removing my right shoe. With the chip in hand, I was then directed to the tent that housed all the technology efficiently printing off everyone’s certificates right as they crossed the finish line. As I walked over, the female announcer greeted me (saying everything into the microphone) in English: “Congratulations, Victoria! Welcome to Taiwan!” And the in Chinese: “恭喜美國來的Victoria!” I gave her a hug. What else was I supposed to do? I was the only foreigner in this race! I was a celebrity.
I got my certificate and returned my chip and picked up my bag. I wanted to sit down and stare at the ocean and take off my other sock and shoe. I looked over my certificate and noticed that I was first place in my division of females 29 years and younger. 1/22. I pointed this out to Amy, not sure what to make of it, but it sounded cool. I was also pretty happy about having kept my time just under 5 hours.
Amy and I were sitting under the buffet tent and I was attempting to nibble some food when this guy named Ben came up to me. He could speak English and greeted me by name, which was surprising. He basically let me know that they were calling me up on stage.
“What? They’re calling my name?”
“Yeah. Where is your certificate? Let me see. Yeah, right here, you’re 第一名 [first place]. They’re going to give you the prize.”
“Oh…!
I went up to confirm what all the commotion was about and ended up hurrying back to tell Amy to come take pictures of me on stage. I was getting a freaking trophy! I was first place in my division! It was my first marathon and I won something!!! Like I said, things got super crazy after I crossed finished line.
Sure enough, I got introduced and congratulated by that same lady who welcomed me to Taiwan. And she told everyone in both English AND Chinese that I was from America and this was my first marathon. And she mentioned me twice because I was first place. She called me “Our Winner, Victoria.” I was a winner!
Receiving my award
Me and Peggy
I ended up meeting Peggy while I was standing next to the stage, the second place winner of our division, who ended up being one of the “pink” girls I had kept my eye on and used as a pacer during the race.
On the way back to our place under the buffet tent, I was getting all kinds of attention because of the first place trophy I was now carrying with me. And I ended up exchanging words with my other “pink” girl, who had also used me as her pacer! I also talked to this guy who had a purple running bag because he had run a 100k. The purple was for the super runners. It took him 14 hours. He also informed me that the man who had ran in a red tutu ran 88 marathons in 2013. Another guy with tattoos all over his arms told me I was awesome for having run the whole thing.
Sweetie finished 15 minutes before the the 7-hour limit, exhausted. She made it.
The two of us got a free ride back to our hostel from a really nice lady while Amy continued to wander and take pictures. After showering and checking out of the hostel, we enjoyed a superb free meal meal of soup, noodles, green vegetables and SUSHI from the restaurant next door.
Life was good, and I had run a marathon.
My return to Taiwan last Friday marked the final stretch of marathon training. A lot as happened since then, including some unexpected emotional obstacles. The last week before my race has become much more than a period of short runs, rest and carb-loading.
Friday night: I finally arrive back in my apartment here in Taipei. I find my race packet on my bed; it had arrived while I was away. I’m runner 1399. Everything for the Seafood Marathon is blue, the t-shirt, the bib. I guess the chip is gold. Having all this in my mind reminds me of what lies only days ahead.
Saturday: As I’m unpacking I’m hit by some news that only adds to the mess I’m already emotionally juggling. I still need to run 14k, and everything suddenly feels so much heavier than it did the night before. I guess I had taken support from the sidelines and the finish line for granted, because now some of my best friends in Taiwan weren’t going to be there like I had expected and hoped.
I go for my run. I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m weighed down. The big picture has been blurred. As I near my half way point, a fellow runner on the trail passes me. I catch sight of another runner’s shadow a couple strides behind me; feeling competitive, I pick up my pace in order to stay ahead of the shadow. Soon, this 50-year-old Taiwanese man who I later find out later runs 8 hours everyday is running with me. I decide to be social and strike up conversation. He doesn’t seem to have a distance goal and actually turns around with me once I hit my half way point. Our 7-kilometer conversation revealed who was really running next to me.
This man has been retired for 10 years and has been running ever since then. He runs every day for 8 hours and advised me to run at least 1 hour every day. He also advised me to surpass the marathon distance, a distance he’s already completed a couple times in 2 1/2 hours. He doesn’t run marathons anymore; instead, he joins competitions in which runners literally eat, sleep, and run for 4 days straight or something like that. He came in second place at one such race in Australia! He coached me on speed control, lightening my step so I wasn’t pounding the pavement so hard, breathing, and relaxing everything but my abs while running. He told me I wasn’t doing bad at all but that I should work on my speed. I listened to this guy; someone who literally runs for a living knows what he’s talking about! He cheered me on to a sprint at the end and kept giving me pointers on how to completely relax my body while running. The 7 kilometers I ran with him were like no other.
Monday: I run an AM 5k. I’m still feeling weighed down with everything I have to process and get past. I cry after my run and all morning after my shower.
Wednesday: I run 5k in the PM. I feel something (could be paranoia) in my right shin but decide it’s way too late to try to google anything; there’s nothing I could do differently at this point anyway. It’s wet and breezy, so I wear my blue slicker to keep the rain off. I get really angry during my last kilometer, but just keep running.
Today: After a relaxing full-body oil massage, conversations with multiple good friends on the outside of my crappy and non-ideal situation, my roommate confirming that she can go to the race this weekend, and communicating with people about my feelings of hurt, I’ve gained some perspective. I’m reminded that running, after all, is a journey; and like any thing else in life people will cancel on you or not be there have something else to do. I don’t have and I don’t get to have control over the circumstances of Race Day, and this includes things like the weather, the other runners and even the people who are there.
I haven’t been this well-rested in a while. The 2 1/2 months of training has made me strong – and not just physically strong. People don’t run marathons on physical strength alone. Even the first Marathoner had an emotional motivation to get to Athens; and the task killed him. There is a strength in me that I have not even tapped into yet, and it’s been growing more and more powerful ever since I started this journey. It is being preserved for Race Day, because on that day EVERYTHING will be released.
So let’s run a marathon.
CYCLES 