My return to Taiwan last Friday marked the final stretch of marathon training. A lot as happened since then, including some unexpected emotional obstacles. The last week before my race has become much more than a period of short runs, rest and carb-loading.
Friday night: I finally arrive back in my apartment here in Taipei. I find my race packet on my bed; it had arrived while I was away. I’m runner 1399. Everything for the Seafood Marathon is blue, the t-shirt, the bib. I guess the chip is gold. Having all this in my mind reminds me of what lies only days ahead.
Saturday: As I’m unpacking I’m hit by some news that only adds to the mess I’m already emotionally juggling. I still need to run 14k, and everything suddenly feels so much heavier than it did the night before. I guess I had taken support from the sidelines and the finish line for granted, because now some of my best friends in Taiwan weren’t going to be there like I had expected and hoped.
I go for my run. I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m weighed down. The big picture has been blurred. As I near my half way point, a fellow runner on the trail passes me. I catch sight of another runner’s shadow a couple strides behind me; feeling competitive, I pick up my pace in order to stay ahead of the shadow. Soon, this 50-year-old Taiwanese man who I later find out later runs 8 hours everyday is running with me. I decide to be social and strike up conversation. He doesn’t seem to have a distance goal and actually turns around with me once I hit my half way point. Our 7-kilometer conversation revealed who was really running next to me.
This man has been retired for 10 years and has been running ever since then. He runs every day for 8 hours and advised me to run at least 1 hour every day. He also advised me to surpass the marathon distance, a distance he’s already completed a couple times in 2 1/2 hours. He doesn’t run marathons anymore; instead, he joins competitions in which runners literally eat, sleep, and run for 4 days straight or something like that. He came in second place at one such race in Australia! He coached me on speed control, lightening my step so I wasn’t pounding the pavement so hard, breathing, and relaxing everything but my abs while running. He told me I wasn’t doing bad at all but that I should work on my speed. I listened to this guy; someone who literally runs for a living knows what he’s talking about! He cheered me on to a sprint at the end and kept giving me pointers on how to completely relax my body while running. The 7 kilometers I ran with him were like no other.
Monday: I run an AM 5k. I’m still feeling weighed down with everything I have to process and get past. I cry after my run and all morning after my shower.
Wednesday: I run 5k in the PM. I feel something (could be paranoia) in my right shin but decide it’s way too late to try to google anything; there’s nothing I could do differently at this point anyway. It’s wet and breezy, so I wear my blue slicker to keep the rain off. I get really angry during my last kilometer, but just keep running.
Today: After a relaxing full-body oil massage, conversations with multiple good friends on the outside of my crappy and non-ideal situation, my roommate confirming that she can go to the race this weekend, and communicating with people about my feelings of hurt, I’ve gained some perspective. I’m reminded that running, after all, is a journey; and like any thing else in life people will cancel on you or not be there have something else to do. I don’t have and I don’t get to have control over the circumstances of Race Day, and this includes things like the weather, the other runners and even the people who are there.
And despite the moments I’ve had of not wanting to run anymore in the last few days, reality remains.
And the reality is this: my body is ready.
I haven’t been this well-rested in a while. The 2 1/2 months of training has made me strong – and not just physically strong. People don’t run marathons on physical strength alone. Even the first Marathoner had an emotional motivation to get to Athens; and the task killed him. There is a strength in me that I have not even tapped into yet, and it’s been growing more and more powerful ever since I started this journey. It is being preserved for Race Day, because on that day EVERYTHING will be released.
So let’s run a marathon.
CYCLES 
[…] friends here in Taipei were not going to be at my race (you can read more about that experience here). A friend asked me if it was possible for my friends to run the marathon with me. All they could […]